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Showing posts with label Bizarre Advertisements. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Bizarre Advertisements. Show all posts

Wednesday, September 21, 2016

Flipping John Curtis' Meat

        Twenty years ago, would you have ever guessed that a product as manly as beer would be sold with gay-friendly commercials?  Bud Light apparently believes that there are more than two genders.  (Someone should tell my old English teacher.)  Heineken has an ad featuring out-of-the-closet Neil Patrick Harris where he assures you that Heineken beer allows you to "flip another man's meat."  Yes, they make it a lame double entendre by showing a guy at a grill, but everyone who's not a moron knows damn well what they mean.
         In a local politics story, our local state representative is being challenged by a Democrat named John Curtis.  Mr. Curtis' entire campaign is based on the incumbent's refusal to concede to Democratic big-spending policies so as to ensure that Conal Cochran, the Majority Leader in the General Assembly, will fully fund the local diploma mill.  The employees of said diploma mill are greatly vexed that they might lose some of the cash cow status they enjoy as state employees.  The fact that Killinois is in huge financial difficulty matters not a whit to John Curtis, whose only concern is that the contemporary equivalent of landed gentry, the government employee, remains well paid and secure.  Yesterday, Estase was reading an article from First Things that asserted that all Americans are Whigs, pointing to things like transgender rights as an example.  While it was in some ways a valuable article, Estase would assert that no, not all Americans are Whigs.  Thomas Jefferson was most certainly a Tory.  John Adams was most certainly a Whig.  The modern day Tories wish for the presidency to be an elective monarchy.  They assert that only the government cares, or should protect, the poor.  And, most germane to this discussion, they believe that a certain group is so much the center of the nation that their welfare is the preoccupation of the state.  For an eighteenth century Tory, this certain group was the landed gentry.  Their twenty-first century equivalent believes that government employees are so much the center of the nation that their welfare is the preoccupation of the state.  Just as how eighteenth century Tories looked down on businessmen and tradesmen, so do the twenty-first century Tories look down on businessmen and tradesmen.  John Curtis could care less about taxing businessmen and farmers, because what they have should be at the service of government employees, making their lives richer and more stable.  John Curtis is a modern day Tory.

Monday, May 16, 2016

U.S. Army Promotes Movie

       Everybody knows the Obama Administration is in thick with the entertainment industry.  (Bought a DVD lately?  Notice that they created an office, complete with scary-looking emblem, devoted solely to movie piracy?)  In 2008, every entertainer from Neil Young to Henry Winkler was boosting a relatively unknown Illinois Senator as the nation's salvation.  Obama is said to have sent personal text messages to Scarlett Johansson.  (And any look at Michelle will tell you why.)  Other than Wall Street fat cats, Hollywood provides the lion's share of funding for liberal causes.
       Even in light of the incestuous relationship between Democrats and Hollywood, it was still shocking to see an Army recruiting commercial that was mostly a plug for the new Independence Day sequel.  How is it that a U.S. military that skimps on weapons and stopped feeding troops hot breakfasts now has the money to shill for Hollywood?  The advertisement in question says nothing about actual service in the real U.S. Army, but focuses on a make-believe force defending Earth from aliens.  You know, if what Oh Blah Blah meant when he promised to fundamentally transform America was letting men in women's restrooms, forcing nuns to buy abortion drugs for their employees, and using the Pentagon budget to get everyone to see a movie, I can safely say that Estase isn't feeling the change.

Tuesday, July 01, 2014

PayDay Bar Goes Testicles

       Earlier this year, Norelco's ad executives showed us they had watched "The Silence of the Lambs" too many times when they had a man in a trimmer commercial remark, "I'd f*ck me," recalling the oh-so-disturbing sequence in which the transvestite serial killer dances in drag to "Girls on Film" and similarly remarks "I'd do me so hard."  Autoerotica, anyone? 
        The great Michael Savage once opined that all ad executives now are gay men, and one is inclined to believe it when one considers the current crop of ads (See my previous blogpost from January 2012 "Harpo Marx Doritos Commercial.")  The oddest, and argueably most perverted offering of late, is a commercial for PayDay candybars.  Using the bizarre slogan "Expose Yourself to PayDay," the add shows a PayDay bar mostly out of its wrapper, with a matrix blur over the middle of the candy bar, as though genitals exist on the product.  Where does one even begin?  First taboo:  most people consider indecent exposure laudable behavior, and of course all Americans love to think about a candy bar having its perverse, public nudity moment.  Second taboo:  if a PayDay bar has genitals, must that mean that snacking is a sexual act? 
       Estase doesn't want to go all Moral Majority here, but there is a definite and worrying trend here.  It used to be bad enough to imply that buying the right car would get you laid, but now we are advanced to such an advanced level of depravity that ad executives cannot sell a sub sandwich, Doritos, hair clippers, or candy bars without some kind of a sexual reference.  What is next?  I hope a wave of decency overtakes Madison Avenue, and there isn't need for a third post on the subject.

Friday, January 20, 2012

Harpo Marx Doritos Commercial

The ad men who created the latest Doritos commercials are demented.  The ad shows a man pulling off another man's pants to suck off the cheese residue.  The camera then shows the subject's face in orgasmic glee as he exclaims "Doritos!"  The same man is then shown sucking the cheese residue off another man's fingers, a clear shorthand for oral sex used to great effect in the original "Hellraiser" by Clive Barker.  I haven't seen such an obvious sex joke since Quizno's showed a sub sandwich working up and down in a paper wrapper and an oven ordering "put it in me" with regards to a phallic sandwich.  Does anyone remember Harpo Marx sucking the black hose in "A Night at the Opera?"  Apparently, eating Doritos is like performing Clinton sex.

Of course, it is entirely possible to go to the other extreme, and find things offensive that really shouldn't offend anyone.  I recently saw a comment on the National Catholic Register website where some prude complained about the scene in "Alvin and the Chipmunks" where Simon pretended to eat his brother's bowel movement so Dave wouldn't realize he made it on the couch.  If anyone is on such a holiness and purity kick that that offends them, they need to be medicated.  In my German class in college, my grad assistant brought in a German children's book that makes the Alvin and the Chipmunks joke look restrained and tasteful in comparison.  It is one thing to find oral sex references too much, but a scat joke once in a while is all in good fun.