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Thursday, November 29, 2012

Illinois: Get Out While You Can!

Life in the People's Republic of Illinois is looking to get even shittier with the proposed 5% tax on satellite TV.  I have an idea for an advertisment for people to move to Illinois.  The scene opens with a wide shot of a badly neglected section of Detroit.  The announcer says in the voice over:"Interested in getting in on the ground floor of a burgeoning liberal utopia?  You could move to Detroit, but wouldn't you prefer a state that's just escaping the bonds of fiscal discipline?"  The picture then shifts to a statue of Lincoln.  The voice over continues:" Illinois, home of the sixteenth president who saw the nation through Civil War!  The state that was home to the Sears Roebuck empire before we chased them out with anti-business legislation!  You too can pay high taxes to one of the worst managed governments in America!"  The advertisment then closes with a graphic of an anarcho-socialist style clenched fist surrounded by the words, "Illinois, Down With the Man!"

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